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Jan. 30th, 2009

Rock On GAM

Talking with a friend, finally found someone who agrees, Asian men are GORGEOUS. From their flawless, smooth, soft, naturally tan skin, to their perfect straight hair (think Dragon Ball Z), to their impeccable bone structure, to their inherent passion and sensuality. Finally someone can agree with me. The issue that is created however, is that the "Secret" is out. More and more western men are getting this little known fact. From wincing and conjuring up Asian jokes, to literally jumping their bones. Now my friend is Bi of course, and prefers women overall, he though does see the sexiness of Asian men. Ugggh is sad that I have always liked them, but now EVERYONE and their brother is starting to. All I can say is back off dudes, they are mine haha.

And another curious topic to do with Asians, both men and women, was that we both prefer "FOB's" (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, Fresh Off The Boat, denoting an Asian who was not born in the western world, but rather just came over.) Mainly that their great culture is still intact, and that they are not into the same thing as western men. Now, I am not saying I would only date a FOB, but just a preferenece

Jan. 23rd, 2009

Barack Barack Barack

Just a quick thing. Thank goodness Bush is finally gone and back on a farm in Texas. Hallelujah........

Bumpkin, Hillbilly, yokel, or whatever....

Dealing with everything has actually made me realize many things. I started up an old Mac I had that I used when I first went to University and lived on my own. And I was looking at my iTunes library and was amazed at what I had once listened to. There are many similar things that I listen to now but many of the Artists I had forgotten I had once listened to. I started to listen to them all and it brought this calm over me. This feeling of when I was 20 and when I was doing something right in my life.  A time that perhaps I was going down the right path in life.

I am not too sure where that averted. Where I went wrong. Often times I thought perhaps because I am a gay man, and that I am out more than I was, may  be the underlying reason. But looking back I was always gay whether I wanted to admit such or not. The actual reality of being gay has finally set in. But feeling as if I am an outsider at most times doesn't help the issue. I know my parents accept it, but the question remains if they are ok with it, or if they condone it. Something in me feels they do not. Just the way they talk, the way I see the interaction. I live in a heterosexual world, which I as I age I grow to abhor more and more. Now do not get me wrong, the gay world can be troublesome at times as well, but I would feel that I am myself there. If I choose to wear bronzer one day, or furry boots, or sparkly shoes, or carry a bag. Why is it that in this world I am ridiculed for carrying a LV bag, not a purse per se, but a bag. Now if I chose to carry a purse then so be it. Who the hell equated carrying a purse as only an effeminate attribute? That I would like to know. It bothers that my father, as well as any of trace of testosterone in the room near-by makes fun of my "man bag" or "murse" . What the fuck is that about? I mean I am so sorry that you choose to wear tatty clothing, dirty shoes, and hair growing out every orifice on your head, but I do not choose such. I choose to wear lip gloss, and bronzer, and wear womans sheepskin boots. This is who I am and who I am ok with. I do not need Neanderthals telling me that I am too "Gay" or that I carry a "murse". Do I walk around telling people that what they are wearing is ugly, or that their damn wallet is the size of a burrito.?!?! I mean come on, a burrito. I get that ya have 10 billion credit cards, and all that cash and every fuckin receipt since Woolworths went teets up, but give me a break. Do people, ergo, women find that attractive? I think not. And for that matter if your pocket is so stuffed from a wallet that it looks like you stole something from the convenience store, you have too much damn shit. Ever wonder why I have a bag with me? Because I choose not too look like a narcissistic, uncultured, pontifical ass. You need; one credit card, one debit card, one ID, some cash, and folks, THATS ALL! I mean arrgh. So I have decided that from now on I will no longer take lightly to the term that overly "masculine" men use for my bag, "man bag" and "murse". It's a fucking bag. Do I refer to your pocket burrito as your man wallet, or better yet, mallet? Nope, why because its a wallet. Why should I refer to an item, and the appropriate users' sex, in reciprocity? Ummm so would it be a Wurse?? or  a Women Bag? Nope 'cause it's just a purse or bag. Simple and easy. But being gay, hetero men, who I conclude, have E.D. issues, use the derogatory terms to somehow lessen my masculinity, compared to theirs. HAHAHA Yeah like that one is going to work.

Callowness is paradise - Author Unknown

Jan. 17th, 2009




Dec. 21st, 2008


This last week has been stressful to say the least . And my irritation level has been on max the past few days. At times I just can't stand some people. My parents for one. Just the utter displeasure I have with them. No matter where I have been in my life I have felt it. Some may say to just grow up and deal, and well I have. But it's something that will always be there no matter what. I will never ever be able to handle or tolerate my parents. I do love them very much, but loving them obligates me none to like them. And I just don't. And never will. I hate the way some things are done in their world. And it's just that, "their world" because in real life, nobody lives as such. But I can deal as I have dealt for many years and I am still here. Perhaps this rush of emotions is ensuing due to the holidays. It just doesn't feel like it used to feel for christmas. No putting up the tree, no lights, no baking, no luminarias, no anything. It's sad, but makes me want to find someone and start a family so that I can start my own traditions with my family. My parents have seemed to suck out any and all fun associated with christmas. They have made it another utilitarian holiday. Where money is exchanged like a birthday. That's their idea of a christmas; choosing a specific amount to give, ten years ago, and sticking with it. No matter what. Sorry folks, two hundred dollars doesn't buy anything near what it bought me in highschool. But they fail to see that. Thank god though, that there is Weasel, my nickname for me cousin. She wants gifts too. And of course I do. WTF happened in getting a GD envelope???? F*** that, I don't want an envelope I want a gift. And who cares what it is too. If I want a bottle of cologne and thats all, then thats all I want. But my parents have the incessant need for my brother, who I hate,  and I do be equal on all parts. COME on how is that possible. We are completely different people. I may lie at times, and do things I shouldn't but I don't cheat in College like he does. That's the only way most of these kids can graduate and get something. They cheat on tests, homework, etc. ITs horrible. But back to the point. The equality thing. I mean I got some uggs thats it, thats all I couldn't even ask for anything I wanted.

Dec. 14th, 2008


I spilled the ink across the page trying to spell your name
So i fold it up and i flick it out
Paper aeroplane
It wont fly the seven seas to you
Cause it didn't leave my room
But it awaits the hands of someone else
The garbage man

Got to say mmm mmm mmm
Got to say mmm mmm mmm

So he opens it up and reads it out to all his friends
Amongst the crowd a heart will break and a heart will mend
He walks on home tired from work
The letter falls from his hand
He reaches out only to catch the sky
Its gone with the wind

Got to say mmm mmm mmm
Got to say mmm mmm mmm

I spilled the ink across the land
Trying to spell your name
Up and down there it goes
Paper aeroplane
It hasnt flown the seven seas to you
But its on its way
It goes through the hands
Then to someone else
To find you girl

Got to say mmm

Nov. 25th, 2008


Well i am done with billy and its understandable it was just a week long whirlwind thing. fun while it lasted but even with all the things in common it just wasn't all there something was missing but on to better and brighter things. perhaps he was just too young maybe i need someone more mature more my age. so who knows from here .

Nov. 22nd, 2008

Rice 4 Life

So I have finally decided to write a short novel/auto-biography. The basis will be the stigma of being a Rice Queen and the perception of Asian men in Western culture. I have grown quite fond of Asian men over the past several years, and in addition I have always loved Eastern culture. However, there is still a huge stigma following my preferences, as well as many other men in this world. Many of my friends are perfectly ok with whomever I choose to like. However, some wonder how I can like or even be attracted to an Asian man. And for good reason, those "friends" are not close to me. And I prefer to keep it that way.

First of I am not racist in any sort of way. Some say that I am racist towards Caucasian men, seeing that I am not attracted to them. This is wrong mostly because I never said I was not attracted to white men, its just that very very very few I am. My overwhelming preference is for Asian men. At the ripe old age of 27, many can't see that I am a "rice queen", as the traditional meaning is an older i.e. 20 or more years older than the Asian they are dating. In fact the man I am seeing is 22, younger than me yes, but not the only Asian I have dated. They have been older than I, younger, or around the same age. I don't discriminate based about age, but rather maturity,

The stereotypical definition of Rice Queen is a Caucasian "top" that wants a submissive Asian "bottom". The Caucasian may in some circumstances see the Asian as being "beneath" him, or that of a "subservient". Now of course, this is not each one of us out there. A website I recently came across, named "threeasianfags" stated the different types of Rice Queens, ranging from the previous explanation, to the complete opposite. Some Rice Queens may take advantage of their role. Many times the Potato Queen, or an Asian "boy" who likes white men, believes that being subservient to a white man will bring them something great. As in their culture, it can me jumping the social ladder. A young Asian boy may come to the US and seek out a wealthy doctor or lawyer, who in turns takes advantage of a Potato Queens desires. Now this is not always the case of course. Many times, the white man is in the opposite role, whereas he may seek out a wealthy Asian who just happens to prefer a Caucasian man. And these two scenarios are not always the complete truth. This is though, where the stereotype came from.

There is another type of Rice Queen that I will discuss now. A Caucasian man who does prefer an Asian man, but he does not have any ulterior motives in mind. He admires the physical characteristics of an Asian man. Usually the first part of attraction, as we cannot know a persons personality by the outside. In my own opinion, my attraction lies not just physical but emotional as well. Physically Asians, although not all, tend to be shorter and smaller. Typically darker eyes and darker hair. Almond shaped eyes, versus a Caucasians "rounder" eyes. Smoother, as in body hair-wise. These are what I find extremely attractive in a man. As far as emotionally, I find Asian men are much more Sensual and Passionate than Caucasian men. Now this is just an opinion, its not a fact of life. Its what I think. So my role as a Rice Queen is quite different than most. I will treat my man as equal in all respects. I don't want to be with an Asian guy because he will be submissive or dominant. Nor do I want him to worship me because I'm the "white man". I want to with someone because I enjoy being around them. I enjoy their company etc. I am a Rice Queen strictly because I am physically attracted to Asian men. Soley that.

So if anyone out there thinks that I have different intentions than just being with someone for who they are, they are mistaken. If they think that I am racist, then think that, but just know, that I know that I am not one. I just have a preference. A preference like we all have. Perhaps someone wants a guy that is taller, leaner, bigger, hairier, smarter, wiser, cuter, darker, lighter and all. WE all prefer something, and this is one thing that I will be for the rest of my life. And yeah I will admit it, I doubt I will ever date a guy who is not Asian, just how the cards are. Sorry if it offends, but it has taken me many years to get to where I am, and be comfortable with who I am for once.

And to my Rice boy out there, Billy.....I am so happy we met and that you are now a part of my life!



Gorgeous isn't he

The boy

So last night was another amazing night. Billy asked me yesterday if I wanted be exclusive with him. I was so excited. I of course said yes. Last night Billy and I met Jen and Jen for dinner. As always I had an amazing time with Billy. The more I spend time with him it feels as if I am falling for him....

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